So You Wanted To Be Clergy, Did You?

Not really. I came into this thing dragging my heels. But I do try to be obedient; I'm still working on obeying God with a whole heart.

As some time passed, people's expectations of my time increased, my income decreased, and my frustration level rose to a dangerous level. I eventually, very embarassedly, had to ask the church for more money--and I did not do it well. I did it in anger. I couldn't believe they "placed me in a position where I had to ask." Most said they didn't know we were struggling financially. That really blew my mind. One member spoke up for us saying she had heard us tell them on two occasions, but it was ignored. Anyway, I very wrongly expressed my frustration with a tight face, intensity in my eyes, clenched jaw, and poor choice of words. The people were aghast. "We've never seen Chuck like this before," they said. They were correct; they had never seen me like that.

But others had. Especially Zoe. I have been working through anger issues since the 1990's. Before that time, I didn't know I had anger issues. It all began with my learned "pseudo-gentility" behavior from my early preacher's kid years. That's all for another blog post, another time.

Anyway, my little temper tantrum really exposed some interesting stuff. Within a day or two many of the church members went to the church's lay leader and complained about me. He called me in Indiana where Zoe and I had gone for a friend's induction ceremony as president of a university. He told me how upset everyone was (including him) and that I needed to do something about it. When I suggested that he had been involved in triangulation and should have had them come directly to me (offering to come with them if they would like), he became upset. When I did return to town, Zoe and I had to go to each of the offended parties, some more than once, to work through the conflict. Within a week, one church member hung up on me on the telephone after about a thirty-second conversation intended to set a meeting for us to meet, and later that person and their spouse quit coming to church. Another told me he couldn't be my friend anymore. Another said she was insulted by our statement that we had told the church we were hurting financially and they didn't seem to care. Two others implied that Zoe (and me by association) had lied on an invoice for expense reimbursement. That had never happened before. It went on and on. The lay leader informed me that he had expected me to let him know everytime I was out of town and tell him where I was at all times. I had never known that before either. I told him that $400 per month didn't buy that. The stress and emotional angst ate at our guts.

Almost simultaneous to the wonderful adventure in suffering and pain recorded in the above paragraph, we moved from meeting in the house where we had met for five years to a public meeting place. One of the church members decided to boycott that. Others came, but not wholeheartedly. The move required some changes, and changes always provide opportunities for conflict and mourning loss. We experienced both.

A person who had offered to be our worship leader, went to the lay leader and made a deal with him. I was left out of the conversation. When I was introduced into the conversation a week or so later by email, I did contact them. I suggested we meet to talk about how we would work out all the details. They did not like this, thought they had an arrangement with the church--via the lay leader--and quit coming too.

So, you wanted to be clergy? Now we're having fun!

More later...