For much of my life, people told me that I should be in "full-time ministry." That offended me, because when I released control of my life and invited Jesus to be the boss, I meant that full time. No, I did not enter a "ministry vocation." But everything I did was intended to honor God--on the job, with my family, and in all my relationships. I studied the Bible diligently. I taught Bible classes. I shared the good news frequently. I prayed. I gave (more than one tenth of my gross income). I counseled folks. For the most part, I lived what I taught. I was in full-time ministry. To be certain, I regularly sinned too. I struggled with addictive behavior. I imposed my perfectionist behavior onto unsuspecting people, notably my family. I worked too much and played too little. I judged others. I was a typical "minister", huh?
This lifestyle changed when Zoe, my wife, and I headed for Kentucky to go to seminary in 1996. I had been a full-time disciple of Jesus for more than twenty years. I assumed that since God was sending us to seminary He also intended that I become ordained clergy. That was a major concession for me. I had long preached the priesthood of all believers. I strongly believed (still do) in the priesthood of all believers. (1 Peter 2:9, Revelation 1:4-6, Colossians 3:17, and other scriptures). But, in obedience, although I had a strong affinity for Missiology, I entered the Master of Divinity program (intended to teach us how to master the Divine?). However, no church sponsored us, so getting on an ordination track was impossible at that time. Where would this lead?
I completed three-and-one-half years of seminary, simultaneously working as an administrator full-time at the seminary, then applied for and was admitted to the Doctor of Ministry program. I later transferred to another Seminary, when Zoe was recruited to be an Assistant Dean there. I completed the D.Min. degree and never got ordained. Now I had a Ph.D., an M.Div. equivalent (awarded when I was admitted to the D.Min. program), and a D.Min. But I was not ordained.
Where was this leading? Should I get ordained?
More later....
4 comments:
“Russell heaved a sigh. ‘You’re right, Father, you’re dead right, an’ I know it. I’m th’ roughest ol’ cob you ever seen when it comes t’ mindin.’ That’s why I’ve fought th’ Lord s’ long, it meant mindin’ ‘im if I was t’ foller ‘im. It’s about wore me out, fightin’ ‘im. Not t’ say I don’t respect ‘im, I do. But I don’t want t’ mind ‘im.’”
“The uneducated Russell Jacks, thought the rector, had just put the taproot cause of the world’s ills into a few precise words.”
Jan Karon. At Home in Mitford. p. 319
I agree with you that obedience can be tough; it is the stuff of which growth is made. :o)
Thanks for your transparency and for recording your story in your own voice. This is such a gift to those who know and love you but may not know the story of your journey, your struggles, your growth adventure with God.
Also, love the Jan Karon quote; her character Russell Jacks reminds me so much of my own journey. I encourage you to please keep a bloggin'. We need ta know 'bout others' stories of "fightin' 'im" and not "want t' mind 'im," so we can "foller 'im" ourselves. z:o)
Thanks Chuck.
Thanks for going to Asbury.
Thanks to Zoe too.
Your friendship was a "Godsend" while I was there.
Your impact on a confused and struggling yet earnest seminarian was eternal and will never be forgotten.
Love,
Gina
Chuck, your story sounds awful familiar. After 10 years in the UM system, I'm getting ready to withdraw my ordination status. It's weird... but I feel I'm still walking the path God set before me.
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